July 12, 2006
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sometimes its hard to know how to feel...its been so long and we r in the same spot...it absolutely kills me, but i think hes ok w/it...he looks at it like its out of his hands, circumstances he cant change...when its all his fault, he makes his own circumstances and has just let them stagnate after several very bad decisions...i dunno...its my time to have to crappy but very experience gaining job while supported by someone w/the stable good job...i dunno...it kills me all the steadfast rules i had that i just absolutely broke, and they came back to bite me in the ass...im so unhappy, not just for myself, but for both of us...i dont want to throw away 4 yrs, but i dont know if i can live like this...the ultimatum is out there...
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