August 1, 2006
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always bringing me down
...so after i thought that work was good...i get a phone call...a woman from a few weeks ago called to blame me for the death of her daughter...that is different, right?...because u told me i need to get her birth certificate and social security card (says the woman located in pennsylvania who did not know the exact whereabouts of her daughter the last time we spoke) and i was waiting to get the birth certificate from puerto rico she died on the streets leaving me with her 4 yr old son...now, how many jobs can u be blamed for someones death...she didnt even let me speak (i would have just transferred her to my supervisor cuz if u cant find ur daughter when ur a state away and ur oh so worried, the logical person to blame is the stranger following protocol who told u to send ur daughter in for an interview anyway and u said when u find her ull let her know)...i feel a combination of feelings...btw, the daughter never contacted me at all...the mother never called more than once...i had no idea this girl was even interested...i dont even know either of their names...oh, and at the same time, im in the process of saving a person from killing himself, cuz we know he really may have...but that still doesnt make me feel better, no matter how much extra i just did for this person, a phone call like that is very very something...i dunno...i feel so many emotions: anger, sorrow, pity, confusion...id say i wish it will never happen again, but i know it will...when a problem is this big, its easier to blame a stranger who may or may not have had a solution...it makes sense in my head, it makes sense in my psych books, what is it...transference...the lines between counselor and client tend to blur far too much at work...i dunno...i think im done here...
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