...so now that xanga is deciding to work, ill tell u bout my horrible day...so its the usual crap, im super tired, it smells funny there, theres wierd ppl everywhere...settling in, doing my work...everything went great...well, the usual...anyways...my coworker keeps saying "leave at 330"...so yeah...but NO, i wanted to finish the damn report for friday morning...so this little englishless homeless man comes in and uses the phone to make a detox appt...ok...of course he has to use the phone on my desk cuz my coworker was chattin away on hers...im busy on the computer (which is at a seperate desk and my back faces my regular desk) and this little man is dialing away, wrongly...i dial for him, i talk on the phone for him...i call back for him...i go and get him when they call back for him...go back to working at my computer desk...he finishes on the phone after a few minutes and than asks my coworker for a dollar...she actually gives it to him...he leaves...i start gettin my stuff ready to go cuz its like 345...phone, where did u go?...IN A HOMELESS MAN'S POCKET...im like where is my phone...aida, i think my phone is gone...she goes really, we look a little more and than she runs out the door to see if she can catch that stupid little homeless man...im crying all over the place...call eric to cancel it...so yeah, she comes back, didnt find him, let the guys in the program know to get it back cuz this little man hangs around...im still crying...find out we were so nice to him, the guy that works at the detox was even gonna pick him up tomorrow morning...so aida calls him to get my phone from this little homeless man when he gets him if he has it...this stupid little homeless man is going to my uncles hospital, so i call my uncle to get in touch w/the guy who is supposed to pick up this little homeless man to try to get back into my phone...so yeah, i cried all the way to the traffic on route 22 where there was an accident at the same exact spot as yesterday and i sat in traffic crying and i couldnt call home to see if anyone know what happened...i dunno...so yeah...i gotta look into getting a new phone, my service is suspended until i get a new phone...gotta see if they can upload my phone numbers...so i came home and watched 2 episodes of queer as folk, my mom gave me a bday card so i didnt have to go buy one...and now i feel better...so anyways...i need a phone...

...so yeah...hows it goin ppl...im ok...been a little while...havent felt like venting lately, maybe cuz im more satisfied in the real world...doubt it...not really happy or unhappy...its like for every good phone call i get at work, i get an annoying one to match...i would feel better if i was making more money...obviously i cannot stay in the world of non-profit...so unfruitful and bleh...my job makes me feel poor...ha...its like i couldnt have a new car cuz i make so little and the neighborhood is so bad...anyways...work isnt bad except i need to try to learn spanish ...i havent really tried...thats my only real gripe...the rest of it rolls off me pretty well...um, id love to go to a concert *hint hint*...i know there r some concerts comin around FINALLY...so lets go ppl...anyways...hmmm...i really have nothing to say except i could use a nice stiff drink...maybe ill make a small one later...anyways...hope everybody is well and what not, though no one really posts anymore...we must all be either a) growing out of xanga, b) have more important things to do, or c) just suck...u choose...anyways...time to eat some delicious broccoli...(which for w/e reason made me think of that awful snl skit where dana carvey is singing "im chopping broccoli"...)...yeah...

...i ran...be amazed...

...so yeah...whats shakin...its been a few days...work is ok...life is ok...need a running buddy SO bad...spent too much on clothes and shoes...um...i really have nothing to say...might do a weekend cruise w/the extended family...might just go to niagra falls instead of niagra falls and toronto...um, yeah...nothing too much at all...hows life w/u guys...seen kevin after a million years...been eating way too much candy like a little kid...so i dunno what else to say...i think ive exhausted all the good stuff...no bad stuff either...so yeah...oh...so my coworker is out, so its me and the boss...i so like it better than the 3 of us...but here's whats amazing...my boss has the worst smelling breathe ever...im so confused by it...i have never smelled a smell so foul and it even fills the entire room w/the stink...and what is this horribly foul smell u ask...ive narrowed it down to the scent if bad ocean water w/a dead fish in it that has just come out of the bloated dead body of a crackhead hooker...yeah, no, its really that bad...its awful...i hold my breathe...i dont even know what it is...its awful...anyways...stuff time...

...im so bored, dreading work tomorrow cuz its gonna be SUPER busy and my coworker is gonna be super cranky...it is taking every fiber of my being, every cell of my soul, to refrain from ONLINE SHOPPING...how is it possible that is all i do w/my spare time...i guess thats why i have so much shit...btw, im so pissed every tanktop i buy shows off like 45% of my boobs...what the hell...what happened to being tastefully covered...obviously i missed the bandwagon of showing off my boobs all the time...it just seems to be the style...anyways...

...so yeah, im begining to dislike my job...still like my boss....everyone else is slowly cimbing up the shitlist...i swear, i get chewed out by everyone...wish my gov't job was gonna come thru...i dunno...my coworker takes advantage of me...makes me answer her phone, talks about me in spanish, and tries to embarass me in general...its starting to get really annoying...i mean, shes a typical PR bitch, except old and calmer...the girl who's position i filled called today, she was a bitch too...i swear...i have an attitude, but apparently not the right one for this place...i think id rather be w/a bunch of snobby white ppl than this old lady who bitches about me in spanish...the worst part about this job is that no one trained me (my god, this problem is everywhere, from the supermarket to corporate)...i have to ask questions, mind u today was my 1 month there and i can atleast do all the paperwork, cuz no one ever told me anything...than i get yelled at that i threw some shit out that i never did...she just wont let it go, the papers werent there...i wouldnt have thrown them out...btw, its not like i coulda read the handwriting anyways... i dunno...im just getting so annoyed...i used to like when the boss was out, now i find it annoying cuz i got no one to ask questions too...this must be what med students feel like, ur thrown into a job (they assume my college degree was background enough) u have a million questions and there is this unspoken rule that questions r frowned on...i may not be dealing w/life or death, but i do send my work to the gov't...i dunno...this was such a rant, i just needed to get it off my chest...(eric still isnt talkin to me since the dog incident)...i cant quit my job either cuz 1. its a steady paycheck and 2. my uncle got me the job and hes important there and i cant make him look bad...i dunno...im hungry...

...btw i had to walk all the way down this hill in 4inch heels that totally gave me blisters on the bottom of my feet, scuffed my heels and had to walk all the way back up the hill while being whistled and stared at...oh and some dumb guy thats in the program has to "talk" to me tom...i swear im gonna scream...

...so i just yelled at my bf for over an hour to try to convince him how he cant get a fucking dog...drives me motherfuckin nuts...he basically wants to keep a german shepard in a cage for about 18 hours a day...and he made me miss scrubs...im just so angry i could do something horrible to something...i swear...its not fair, i feel like my mother...im just so mad i have to fight so hard to convince my boyfriend what bad choices he tries to make...im 6 years younger and have to act 20 years older...im so mad i have a headache...

so out of an 8 hour day, i have an hour lunch, and did 1 intake (maybe 2 hours atmost)...so yeah...my job is SO boring...i got there at 8ish, sit around at the comp for an hour, do 1 intake, sit around for their lunch, sit around for my lunch, sit back at the comp for the last 2 hours...haha, terrible...i almost wish it wasnt so boring...but than i hate when its busy and the druggies r all pushy...i dunno...but yeah...no one told me how bad 4" heels hurt ur freakin feet...i sit all day, damn near rolled down a slight slope, and tripped a couple times (kinda like skidded the heel on the floor cuz i dont know how long it is)...so yeah...they r the fashion devil...

so i figured id post a pic of my desk...its coming up on my 1 month anniversary (on april 20th)...it feels funny being off from work for so freakin long...i was up early today for work...not fun...ya know, at me real job im so pleasant in the morning...at pathmark, im bitter and angry...i hate my partime job with a passion never seen before...i dunno...but yeah...the desk isnt glamorous, its barely comfortable and only has 2 drawers...id call it more of a table...but yeah...its so mine...i actually mess with ppl's lives...its wierd...i was talkin about it w/someone at work today...this job is the same thing as the asses at the supermarket using their public assistance for cigarettes...ill explain...these ppl spend all their time, money, and energy on drugs...drugs consume their lives...they never pay taxes, they hardly work, and the majority of them have been thru the criminal system on some facet...its just not fair...now, despite being homeless and destituite, they get 6 months in a program that provides them with a roof, 3 square meals, and any sort of legal/family/drug/etc counseling as needed...all on gov't dollar...its not fair...i went to a decant, nationally recognized college, graduated, and i get stuck accepting these wastes of space into an organization that is too good to accept their money but takes the gov't money and pays me shit...i dunno...the worst part, some of these fucks that come in made more money than me...how is that possible...who the fuck knows...i seem to have gotten annoyed...its my pay check...i cant even afford the last 5 pairs of shoes i just bought...ugh...i dunno...but i get to go back to my desk tom...atleast i do as little work as possible while im there...its amazing...the amount of work i do is directly parallel to my shitty pay...anyways...

so this is officially my 4 day weekend...i may be working on sat and sun, but i still have thurs and fri off...so thats awesome...my boss is pretending i get paid for both days, but atleast i get paid for tom...i totally earned these days off...i broke a key in the basement door at work, i had to look thru 4 unfiled crates and the file i was looking for was in the last one, i spilled white out all over my black pants, i did a file wrong yesterday...i dunno...today was horrible, though i only worked for like 4 hours...i dunno...oh, i got an app for dyfs today, but i dont want it...i gotta clean and go to the mall to return clothes...i think i want a nap...